The mail train’s gift: a life-changing Christmas miracle message

My mother told me this true Christmas story from World War I many years ago. Christmas 1917 was coming, but because her brother Archie Clikeman was missing in action and presumed dead, the family was not going to celebrate.

The townspeople of Parker, South Dakota, always joked that the small-town postmaster read all the postcards whenever the mail train came into town. On that Christmas Eve, he lived up to his reputation.

The family was always grateful that the postmaster, instead of waiting for the rural mail to go out the day after Christmas, called my grandmother and told her that Archie was being held as a prisoner of war. Archie even wrote on the postcard that he was well.

Of course, my mother said, that turned out to be the best Christmas ever. Archie came home after the war and lived to a ripe old age. —Kay Johnson, Parker, South Dakota. Read some stories of people making their own Christmas miracles with these tales of Christmas kindness.

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A man on a mission

When Denver accountant Steve Greig lost his beloved dog Wolfgang seven years ago, his life changed forever. He adopted not one dog after Wolfgang died but more than a dozen dogs over the years—all of whom have been in their last few years of life. He chose to rescue these senior dogs because they otherwise wouldn’t have had a home. Greig started posting family photos of his eclectic bunch on Instagram, and his following grew quickly. He currently has more than 894,000 Instagram followers, and in addition to nine dogs (which is a number he always maintains, adding to his brood when others pass away), he has a pig, two rabbits, two ducks, four chickens, two cats, and a 50-pound turkey. Yes, you read that right! Here’s his inspiring and heartwarming story, which he has turned into a new book, The One and Only Wolfgang. If you love a good animal story (and who doesn’t?), don’t miss these other tear-jerking stories of rescue dogs that found the homes they deserve.

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It’s a question that everyone asks at one time or another: Are psychic mediums the real deal, or are they just trying to get a dollar out of you? There are certainly people who are guilty of the latter, but psychic medium Barbara Bandel, who has her own hotline service and 25 years of experience, says that her services are genuine. After working for Bob Olson of Afterlife TV at Best Psychic Directory, Bandel was in such high demand that she established her own psychic network, Barbara’s Psychic Mediums. This is what a day in her life as a psychic medium is like.

The daily schedule at a psychic hotline

When most people think of a telephone hotline, they imagine phones ringing off the hook. But Bandel doesn’t take hundreds of calls every day. For her, it’s not about call volume—it’s about call quality. She says that she takes each caller’s situation and time very seriously, which is why she typically works by appointment. “After about two-and-a-half to three hours, I lose my ability to concentrate,” she explains. “So if someone wants a one-hour consultation, I can help two or three people a day.”

The most common reason for calls

So what is it that concerns most people enough to call a psychic hotline? Love, according to Bandel. She says that most calls she receives are about “if and when they will meet someone, and if they have already met someone, they want to know if they have a future together.” It’s kind of reassuring, isn’t it, that above all, people still care most about love? If you’re looking for love, try these 8 ways to meet and attract new people—and hopefully, find “the one.”

The self-doubter

Of course, love isn’t the only thing on people’s minds. Bandel says that she encounters all types of personalities in her work, and one of the most frequent is the self-doubter. “People who sometimes do not trust what their own intuition tells them,” she explains. “They want to know if it is true, what they feel, whether they can trust their gut feeling.” This type of caller is looking for confirmation, validation, and a second opinion. Thinking of getting some guidance in your own life? Consider these 10 things before seeing a psychic reader.

The emotionally vulnerable person

“People who have experienced something very sad, such as a divorce or [losing] their job, want to know if their situation will get better in the future,” says Bandel. These types of callers are looking for hope—a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. They are looking for a reassuring voice to tell them that even though things might be bad now, they won’t always be.

The surviving family

Part of the job of a psychic medium is to communicate with the deceased. Whether you think this is possible or not depends on your own belief system, but for Bandel and the people she counsels, it is a very important part of the psychic hotline experience. Many people who call her hotline are “people who want contact with a deceased loved one and/or want to know who their spirit guides are.” Read up on these true stories of people who’ve received signs from the dead.

The person looking for career advice

Almost everyone wants to hear some career advice now and again, which is why it’s probably not surprising that many callers talk to Bandel and her fellow psychic mediums about how to improve their professional lives. According to her, they want to learn “how they can discover what their passion is in terms of work” and what “the right job” is for them. Some people know from a young age what they are good at and what they want to do, but others don’t have that impassioned sense of direction. These people are looking for tips. Whether or not you consult a psychic, you can implement these 8 techniques to be happier at work ASAP.

The person on a self-improvement kick

According to Bandel, the number of people calling in to ask about how they can improve themselves is growing. “People who want to know what they can do in terms of inner development…which inner qualities they can develop to live a happier life,” she explains. “This group of people understands that everything starts with themselves and that they are responsible for how their own life develops. They do not place the responsibility in the hands of someone else but learn through deep self-reflection what they want in their lives.” By talking with psychic mediums, these people hope to identify what values and strengths they need to cultivate. They might also want to check out these 7 self-help books, which even people who hate self-help books will love.

So, how does this work, anyway?

One reason people doubt the sincerity of psychic hotlines is that it seems impersonal. They may think that because the client isn’t face-to-face with their psychic medium, there is no possible way for the experience to be real. Bandel disagrees with that assessment entirely, at least in terms of her own experience and work. “Everything is energy,” she says. “When someone calls me or when I look at a picture of someone or someone sits opposite me, I feel his or her energy. During a reading, I close my eyes and concentrate on that energy. So it doesn’t matter if someone is miles away—the energy always feels equally strong.” Did you know that the U.S. government actually investigated psychic abilities?

Sorry, but you won’t always get the news you want

“Yes,” Bandel admits, “some readings are difficult. I would say 99 percent of my clients are really sweet and loving people and open to [receiving] the information. But 1 percent only wants to hear what they want to hear. For example: They are in love with someone, and that person isn’t interested. They don’t want to hear that, and sometimes they get upset with me. They are not open to listen to any explanation from the guides. I think there are enough psychic lines who will tell them exactly what they want to hear, but I believe it’s better to hear the truth than to find comfort in a lie.”

The desire for anonymity

Even before she started her own psychic hotline, Bandel has always given psychic phone readings. She says that sometimes she did phone readings because people couldn’t physically make it to an appointment or because they lived too far away. However, one reason some people prefer psychic hotlines over in-person meetings is anonymity. They feel safer and more at ease when they are behind the phone because of that perceived distance, not in spite of it. Ever wonder if you’ve lived a past life? Check out these 8 signs.

Why psychics do what they do

So if working at a psychic hotline isn’t just about the money, what is it about? Bandel says, “It’s enormously fulfilling to help people, to give insights. Every time, I am deeply touched by the love and patience that [spirit] guides have for us. It’s an enormous honor to be allowed to do this work. I learn from every reading.” Here are 13 mysteries actually solved by psychics.

More people call these hotlines than you think

Believe it or not, Bandel never set out with the goal of creating a psychic hotline. She developed her business simply because of the nature of supply and demand. “The number [of clients] grew enormously over the years due to word of mouth,” she says, “and I got so busy and the waiting list became so long that I asked psychic colleagues who I respect to help me. It was never my intention to start a psychic hotline; it just happened over the years.” Increasingly, more people desire answers to their questions and uncertainties and are happy that they can get help with psychics.

A word of caution

Of course, you should do some research before dialing to make sure the hotline seems reputable. But there’s also something else you should be aware of: the potential for psychic readings to lead to psychological dependency. If they could, some people would seek psychic help for every tiny bump in the road. That’s why Bandel and her professional peers take certain precautions with their readings. “I have the rule that people aren’t allowed to consult me more than twice a year,” Bandel says. “The last thing I want is for people to become dependent on me.” While some psychic hotlines would encourage that dependency to rake in more money, Bandel is more concerned with the mental well-being of her clients. Next, find out which tarot card your zodiac sign is related to—and what you need to know.

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Pilots in peril

As surely as you might know that flying is an extremely safe mode of travel, it can still give you the jitters—especially when you hear the occasional news story about a plane crash or emergency landing. Pilots are trained to handle all sorts of nerve-racking situations, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t get scared—especially in these real instances, told by the pilots who experienced them, of serious in-flight fear. Luckily, though, here are some facts about flying that will reassure you if these stories freak you out!

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Crazy but true

These days, there are so many hidden costs when booking a flight, you never know what the final price will amount to. That’s why some crafty travelers are doing anything and everything they can to get out of paying a single cent more. Other times, the rules just seem unfair, so people try to bend them just a little bit (or, um, a lot). Here are some of the wildest things that real passengers have actually done to cheat the system—sometimes successfully, sometimes not. Folks, don’t try this at home. Instead, use these 16 travel secrets to always get the best airfare possible.

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Last year, when our three-year-old great-granddaughter Kylie was taken to see Santa Claus, she made sure to give him her wish list of toys. A week later, she ran into a different Santa in a mall. He stopped to ask what she wanted for Christmas. Kylie was appalled and let him know: “If you can’t remember what I told you last week, how are you going to remember on Christmas Eve?!”—Mary Paul, Milwaukee, Wisconsin

One Christmas Eve, there was a knock on our door. It was Santa—red suit, white beard, and all! My parents invited him in, and he proceeded to pose for photos with us and eat our cookies. After a while, he wished us all a merry Christmas and left. Once the door closed behind him, we all looked at one another and asked, “Who ordered the Santa?” To this day, we have no idea who that man was.—Kathy Brody, Chino Hills, California. If you think this story is funny, you’ll laugh at these funny Christmas quotes you’ll want to share.

Years ago, drowning in too many responsibilities, I found myself devoid of any Christmas spirit. One day, I stopped at a red light. As I sorted through my long list of onerous tasks, a beat-up sedan pulled up next to me. Behind the wheel was Santa Claus belting out Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline.” The man did not have a care in the world. Realizing he had an audience, he turned, looked me straight in the eye, and shouted, “Merry Christmas!” As he drove off, his enthusiasm lifted my spirits and officially kicked off my holiday season.—Thomas Warrner, Winter Springs, Florida. Amazing! Check out these Christmas traditions from around the world.

As my son Mike and I drove to the mall, we passed a Salvation Army Santa ringing his bell. “Mike,” I said, “there’s Santa!” He shook his head. “That’s just some guy in a Santa suit,” he said. It saddened me to think that maybe my son no longer believed in Santa, and we drove the rest of the way in silence. At the mall, we spotted another Santa greeting young believers. Suddenly, Mike took off toward him. Turning back to me, he shouted, “Now, there’s the real Santa!”—Michael E. Fahey, Huntley, Illinois. These Santa jokes will make your kids laugh throughout the holiday season.

A friend asked me to dress as Santa to surprise her son. I went over to their house, changed into a Santa suit in the bathroom, and, to the delight of the little boy, came out with a loud “Ho, ho, ho!” After a half hour, I returned to the bathroom, changed back into my regular clothes, and exited the bathroom. The boy went in after me. He looked around for Santa. Then, reaching the only possible conclusion, he lifted the toilet seat and shouted, “Bye, Santa!”—Kevin Cuddihy, Fairfax, Virginia. Want more holiday laughs? Check out these Christmas jokes.

It had been a rough year: A single father with two young daughters, I was out of work and out of money. With little choice, I told the girls, “It looks like our gift from Santa will be the gift of our love for each other.” Then a miracle occurred. I won $1,000 in a contest. I kept it a secret as I went on a shopping spree and spent Christmas Eve wrapping presents for my girls, all the time thinking, Boy, will they be surprised! The next morning, I went to the living room to lay out the gifts and froze. There were already dozens of presents under the Christmas tree—all with my name on them. My girls had felt bad that Dad wouldn’t be getting any gifts, so they’d carefully wrapped their favorite stuffed animals and other toys so that I would have a merry Christmas. As I stared at the gifts through tear-filled eyes, I promised myself to never again doubt Santa Claus.—Andrew Shecktor, Berwick, Pennsylvania

On Christmas Eve, my husband went next door to retrieve a gift for our son and daughter. I had just slipped into bed when I heard him return. Our three-year-old son also heard him, and soon he was in my bed clinging to me, nervously excited that Santa was in the house. We waited in silence for a few minutes, until he whispered, “Too bad Daddy can’t be here.”—Connie Chamberlain, West Lafayette, Indiana

When Santa came to the nursing home where I worked, the first patient he visited was Margaret. She was confined to her bed but was thrilled when he roared “Ho, ho, ho” in her doorway. “Santa!” she said softly.

“Merry Christmas, Margaret. What do you want for Christmas, little girl?”

“I want a kiss from you, Santa,” she said with a grin. Santa gently took Margaret’s hand, bent down, and kissed her. He then added quietly, “God bless you, Margaret.”

“God bless you, too, Santa,” she whispered back.

Santa went on to visit every bedridden patient in the home. Afterward, he asked his nurse escort whether he could say goodbye to Margaret. Struggling to find the right words, she told him that Margaret had died soon after he’d left her room. She said that in her final moments, Margaret had spoken of being blessed by Santa. Santa thanked the nurse for telling him and then quickly left the floor. After all, nobody would want to see Santa Claus cry.—Stephen Rusiniak, Wayne, New Jersey

I was five when my brother took me to the firehouse to see Santa Claus, who, unbeknownst to me then, was actually my father. Later, when I got home, I excitedly told my mother that Santa had boots just like Dad’s! She smiled. Then I added, “And he had lots of women come sit on his lap too.” There went the smile.—Dianna Reed, Millersburg, Pennsylvania

We immigrated to America from China when I was six. Because I was shy and didn’t speak English, I had few friends. My days were spent at home with my brother. Sometimes we’d help our neighbor Mr. Mueller pull weeds. One Christmas Day, there was a knock at the door. Grandma opened it, and there stood a big fellow in red with a snow-white beard, laughing, “Ho, ho, ho!” He handed out presents and made us laugh. I had so much fun. It was years later when I learned that our special Santa was our neighbor Mr. Mueller.—Joanne Tang, Litchfield Park, Arizona

It was Christmas Eve, and our three-year-old son was wired. “You need to go to bed right away,” my husband told him, “because Santa will look in your window to make sure you’re asleep before he leaves presents.” Suddenly, our son’s eyes grew big, and his voice quavered as he shrieked, “I don’t want the big, scary man with the beard looking in my window!” Needless to say, we were up very, very late that Christmas Eve with our son in bed between us.—Michelle Rodenburg, Arvada, Colorado. These letters to Santa will warm your heart this holiday season.

My nearly two-year-old granddaughter was reluctant to meet Santa Claus for the first time. Nevertheless, she patiently sat on his lap and waited while we took picture after picture. Finally, having had enough, she figured a way out of her predicament. She turned to Santa and stated, “I pooped.” With that, Santa said, “She’s done,” lifted her up, and handed her back to her mother.—Ruth Turner, Callao, Virginia. Don’t miss these secrets your mall Santa won’t tell you.

While I was president of a state college in New York, I came home from work one December day and drove my five-year-old son, Brett, to Santa’s village. Brett was nervous but excited and had a long wish list of toys clutched in his hand. When it was our turn, we approached the great man seated in his big chair. That was when Santa, who turned out to be a student at my college, stood up, extended his hand, and said, “Dr. Andersen. This is an unexpected pleasure!” Brett dropped his list, stared at me with astonishment, and said, “Why didn’t you tell me you knew Santa?”—Roger Andersen, Roseville, California

I’d been hired to appear at a church dressed as Santa. But traffic was so bad, my elves and I were late. When we finally arrived, we were met with scowls from the annoyed parishioners. Suddenly, the angry silence was pierced by a shout: “Santa!” A small four-year-old girl came running from the other side of the room and leaped into my arms. “Oh, Santa,” she breathlessly cried out, “I love you!” That turned the scowls into smiles.—Duncan Fife, Foster City, California. Make sure you know what to say when your child asks, “Is Santa real?”

It was December 1935, during the Depression. Although she was a single mother of three with little money, Mom never turned away any hungry person who came to our door. One day, she welcomed in a man with white hair and a great white beard. While she fixed him a meal, he asked me in the kindest way, “What do you want for Christmas?” “Skates,” I quickly replied. “You’ll get them,” he assured me. I was elated. Not so my mother—she couldn’t afford them. Christmas morning came, and there were no skates under the tree. Mother tried to explain that I wouldn’t be getting them, but I knew differently. I ran to the front door and threw it open, and there on the porch was a pair of skates. My mother later told me that a family friend had left them there for me. But I know it was Santa.—Ziza Bivens, Port Orchard, Washington

Several years ago, after numerous fertility-­drug treatments, I became pregnant. Six months later, we lost the baby. My husband and I were devastated. A few years and tears later, we tried another round of treatments. But after many months of futility, my wonderful husband said, “Neither one of us can take this much longer. So let’s agree, if after this last treatment we do not get pregnant, we’ll do something crazy like purchase a 1967 candy-apple-red Corvette and enjoy our lives as is.” I agreed. Lo and behold, we finally had our bouncing baby boy. A few months later, we were at the mall, snapping photos of Santa holding him. As Santa handed our son back, he shocked us both by saying, “It’s a lot better than a Corvette, no?”—Annemarie Wenner, Chardon, Ohio

Funds were tight for my friend Jo and her husband. But Tinker, Jo’s five-year-old, was convinced that since he’d been good all year, Santa would bring him a bike. And not just any bike, but a rare yellow one. “Don’t worry, Mom,” he said. “He’ll bring it.” Jo’s sister and her five-year-old son lived with Jo, and as it happened that little boy was getting a red bike. On Christmas Eve, I told my mother the story of Tinker and the yellow bike. “You can’t let that happen!” she said. “That little boy won’t understand why Santa brought his cousin a new bike and not him!” Mom handed me a pile of bills. “Take this, and get him that bike.” By now it was late, and most stores were closed. I called the only place I knew that sold bikes. A man answered. I asked if he had any boys’ bikes left. “Only one,” he said. Then he added apologetically, “But it’s yellow.”—Carole Martinez, New Orleans, Louisiana. These are the old-fashioned Christmas traditions to bring back.

When I was eight, I attended a Christmas party with my mother, since Daddy was working late. Unfortunately, I had a terrible headache and begged my mom to take me home. She said she would, but only after Santa had passed out our gifts. Then Santa arrived. When he called my name, I sat on his lap. That’s when I saw his distinctive mechanic’s hands, covered with grease and calloused. Santa was my dad. Amazingly, my headache didn’t hurt so much anymore.—Debi Michel, Santa Cruz, California. Find some of the best Christmas Eve traditions to start.

Because we didn’t have much money, our family focused less on gift-giving and more on the birth of Jesus. But that doesn’t mean we went without. We lived close to a Franciscan convent, and each Christmas, the nuns brought us a huge box over­flowing with aromatic baked goods—some dipped in decadent chocolate, others with a chewy fruitcake texture. What a treasure to discover that Santa dresses in many colors besides red. Sometimes Santa arrives in plain black dresses and can bake.—Melanie Salava, Riverview, Florida

One Christmas Eve, Dad wanted us to experience watching Santa place gifts under the tree. So, unknown to my siblings and me, he had a coworker dress as Santa and come to our house around the time we were going to bed. When Dad’s friend “sneaked” into the house, I was so excited to see Santa. So was our dog, who attacked him. I reached the kitchen in time to find red and white fur on the floor and to see Santa leaping over the back fence for his life.—Stanley Sons, Prosser, Washington

By the time I was seven, my parents had been divorced three years. Still, when we woke up that Christmas morning, Daddy was there. My little sister and I were told there was a gift from Santa waiting for us outside. We sprinted out the door, and there it was, a beautiful white playhouse complete with a front porch. Inside, it was furnished with a table and two chairs, a small baby cradle with two dolls, and a kitchen area with dishes. Daddy had constructed it, while Mother bought the furniture and made curtains. We spent the morning eating breakfast in our little white playhouse with Mother and Daddy. Even though our parents were no longer together, we knew they would always be “together” for their girls. And they were.—Sharon Smitherman, Woodstock, Virginia

My two granddaughters had a visit from Santa (my son-in-law’s coworker). Santa asked the two-year-old, “So what do you want for Christmas?” Before the shy little girl could give an answer, her four-year-old sister gave it for her: “She wants me to have a Barbie doll.”—Brenda Morris, Salisbury, North Carolina

My sister-in-law had driven her five-year-old son Josh to the mall with the purpose of visiting Santa and telling him what he wanted for Christmas. After parking the car, they got as far as the entrance when Josh stopped, threw out his hands to block their path, and announced, “Wait! I forgot the toy catalog!”—Laurel Holt, Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Take a look at these hilarious Christmas cartoons, too.

My six-year-old granddaughter attended a Christmas party where Santa was the honored guest. When it was her turn to sit on his lap, Santa asked her name. “Shelbi,” she whispered. “Can you repeat that?” asked Santa. Annoyed, Shelbi said loudly, “Oh, you know me, Larry. You’re my bus driver.”—Ellen Seedall, Idaho Falls, Idaho

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Pictures don’t lie…or do they?

“Within the murky world of conspiracy theories, photography plays a crucial role,” the BBC noted in a 2017 examination of conspiracy theories and the images that inspire them. The reason? Photographs have long been an accepted form of eyewitness evidence. Like any narrative, however, photographs can be misleading, and sometimes intentionally so. Here, we explore some of the famous photos that inspired conspiracy theories, some of which persist to this day. Check out the craziest pop culture conspiracy theories of all time.

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What is acquired savant syndrome?

Acquired savant syndrome occurs when the brain responds to trauma. The syndrome refers to the new skills or abilities that emerge in a previously “normal” person, according to Mara Klemich, PhD, a neuropsychologist who has worked with traumatic brain injuries and in other areas of neuropsychology. These new abilities follow brain injury, stroke, or other central nervous system incidents, and even dementia. Although it’s rare, Dr. Klemich saw two patients develop extra-ordinary skills, like drawing and painting, post-accident. Other common savant skills include calendar day calculations, math, art, and music, Dr. Klemich says.

One of the most common misconceptions about the syndrome is that these abilities can be in any area. Dr. Klemich, also author of Above the Line, says most cases express specific skills in only one of those areas. Even that is impressive. “The fact that extra-ordinary skills can surface post–brain-related injury or disease raises fascinating questions about dormant capacity potentially existing within us all,” Dr. Klemich says. “The challenge, of course, if that is true, is how to access that hidden ability and skill without some sort of brain-related disaster.” In the meantime, read up on five real people with acquired savant syndrome, and their skills. Or boost your own brainpower with these brain games.

Orlando Serrell

One of the more well-known cases of acquired savant syndrome is Orlando Serrell. A baseball hit ten-year-old Serrell during a game. Although he fell, he got back up and continued playing baseball. After his headache eventually left, he noticed he could name the day of the week for any date. He could also remember the weather, where he was, and what he was doing for every day since the accident, according to his official website. For people who want to keep their average brains in check, do these things now to save your brain at 80.

Derek Amato

Some acquired savants also develop artistic abilities. For Derek Amato, the skill is piano. During a game of catch, Amato hit his head on the concrete bottom of a Jacuzzi. The fall left Amato with hearing loss in one ear, memory loss, and headaches. It also gave Amato the ability to understand and play complex tunes on the piano, without any training. He was drawn to the keyboard in his friend’s studio and played for six hours, Popular Science reports. Read Amato’s full incredible story here.

Alonzo Clemons

Alonzo Clemons suffered a brain injury as a toddler, changing how he thinks, learns, and communicates. He also miraculously started creating lifelike sculptures from memory alone without formal training. After the movie Rain Man popularized savant syndrome, Clemons interviewed with 60 Minutes and the Discovery Channel. The exposure was great for his artwork, including his famous sculptures and oil pastels, which are now in fine arts galleries around the world. Plus, the art in these brain teasers will leave you stumped.

Anthony Cicoria

Twenty-five years ago, a bolt of lightning struck 42-year-old Anthony Cicoria. The then-surgeon passed out but came back after CPR. He refused to go to the hospital, but checked in with his doctor and did a CT scan. All was normal except for lingering memory problems, like forgetting the names of rare diseases, according to The New Yorker. That changed a few years later when Cicoria suddenly, over a few days, had the intense desire to listen to piano music. Although he had less than a handful of lessons as a kid, didn’t listen to classical music, and didn’t own a piano, the music came to him. This led him to start studying music, but he couldn’t grasp the classical tunes because other songs played in his head. He realized they were complete, original melodies of his own creation.

Jason Padgett

Although many acquired savants have musical or artistic abilities, Jason Padgett’s talents are mathematical. After an attack outside of a karaoke bar in 2002, the furniture salesman had a concussion, PTSD, and eventually mathematical genius, too. Padgett developed the ability to visualize complex math and physics topics after the attack, but he didn’t go beyond pre-algebra in his studies. This syndrome is almost as shocking as these popular brain myths.

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The post 5 People Whose Brain Injuries Gave Them New Abilities appeared first on Reader's Digest.

The seven-year itch marked the end of my parents’ marriage when I was a toddler. They’d met in a traveling music program and had a whirlwind romance, and in spite of their completely different backgrounds, they’d fallen in love. As family differences became more pronounced and personal values changed, however, their marriage dissolved at that notorious seven-year mark, just one year after I was born. I spent quite a bit of my childhood reflecting on what went wrong as I went back and forth in a traditional custody schedule, pondering what I could do differently when I got married to attempt to “prevent” what had happened to them.

Decades later, as soon as my then-fiancé proposed, I embarked on a mission to heal my perception of marriage—and to make mine last. To say “I do” with confidence, I needed to understand why things ended for my parents and for the 39 percent of couples who get divorced. (That number, by the way, is down from 50 percent in previous decades). Armed with “preventative” marriage therapy and discussions with everyone who was open enough to disclose their reasons for staying together and their reasons for divorcing, I approached year seven with determination.

Kid-proofing a marriage

The seven-year itch often happens around the time when most married couples are having children or raising young children, which we all know is not for the faint of heart. That was the case for my parents, as my birth not-so-coincidentally coincided with the beginning of the end. My husband and I, after having three sons in four years, named the first six months after a birth “The Fog,” to unaffectionately acknowledge both of our mental states in those difficult months. Nobody slept more than three hours at a time, “real” meals were few and far between, and tensions ran high as we negotiated who would change the next diaper.

According to Cheyenne Carter, PhD, Assistant Professor of Wake Forest University’s Online Master’s in Counseling program and a couples counselor in private practice, this is a common time for marital strife. “Research suggests that certain periods tend to be more common for disconnection and conflict, including the addition of a new baby, the seven-year mark, and entrance into empty-nest years,” she says. And there’s more. Couples who are seven years in, she explains, have also started to come to terms with the reality of who their partner is, as well as what the relationship is really like versus what they had envisioned.

For us, acknowledging that “The Fog” existed—and that it was a real expression of the lack of our most basic physical needs being met—helped prepare us for the most difficult months of baby life. Each time, we spent the following six months recovering as a couple, reviving forgotten date nights (statistically proven to make couples happier) and looking at each other through a lens that wasn’t blurred by a baby’s bodily fluids and crying. (The crying was being done by the baby, of course, not us. Well, actually, it was us, too.)

Seeking new opportunities

Around this time, we noticed that we were getting bored. We had done the big, fun wedding, found the jobs, bought a house or two, gone on some trips, and had babies. Now what? It was time to move past our mundane days and even our regular date nights to try something new, instead of spending every Saturday night at the same trusty Chinese restaurant we’d been visiting for seven years, ordering the same chicken dish every time.

Carter says that intentionally adding new experiences into a relationship can help couples survive the seven-year itch. “Experiencing new things together activates the dopamine system in the brain, with this chemical serving to biologically strengthen the bond and increase the sense of individual well-being,” she explains.

For us, this meant finding a reliable babysitter and an even more reliable top ten list of things to try around our own city. (“Best hole-in-the-wall restaurants you’ve never tried” was the Google search we started with.) I’d love to say that we’ve since branched out into skydiving, scuba lessons, and ballroom-dancing classes, but hey, baby steps. We do have three babies and an on-the-clock babysitter, after all.

I believe that my own parents, as they tried to get through a graduate program while surviving life with a newborn, either didn’t have time for this type of bonding or didn’t think it was as important as it actually is.

Avoiding the D-word, but not the tough conversations

Could my parents’ marriage have been saved by having the right conversations? By going to marriage therapy? Maybe, maybe not. But back in our first days of premarital therapy, our wise counselor took us through an exercise that had one main, lifelong commitment at the end: eliminating the word, and option, of divorce as part of our everyday vocabulary. He explained the harm in the word floating around daily life like an option or, even worse, being used in fights as an ultimatum. This was the beginning of establishing trust that both of us were in it for the long haul.

Tough conversations, on the other hand, are abundant and necessary. And, of course, that’s true at all times, not just during the seven-year itch. Reading the book Crucial Conversations as a couple changed the way we converse with each other, especially in helping to create a safe space in which to say tough things. That’s an essential part of maintaining a marriage. “Learn to identify your needs and openly hear the needs of your partner. Learn how to manage your emotions healthily,” says Carter. “This supports the creation of safety for effective communication.”

If you aren’t in a place in your marriage where you can do this, seeking professional counseling can help. And this is something you shouldn’t put off. “Research suggests most couples go to their first session years after the onset of initial disconnection and conflict,” says Carter. “Engage in proactive maintenance of your relationship. It is far less costly—emotionally and financially—than trying to heal years of resentment, anger, and detachment.” Is your relationship on the rocks? Check for these 8 secret signs your marriage is headed for divorce.

What would it be like to live with you?

Once, when I was complaining about some trivial quirks that were making my marriage miserable, that same wise counselor asked me a marriage-changing question: What would it be like to live with you? Man, it was like a tornado had flattened my ego in a few quick words. “Not great” was probably the answer. After all, I wasn’t as quick to forgive as my husband. I went from hungry to hangry in a matter of minutes. I made what he called clothes mountains around my room. And I cared that he chomped on ice cubes while I was watching a show?

By turning the finger around, so to speak, and doing a little self-reflection and analysis, I completely changed the way I saw my husband. Carter calls this “cultivating compassion” and says that acknowledging your own “imperfect state” increases the ability to forgive your partner’s mistakes as well.

If you and your partner are approaching the seven-year mark, you can take heart in the numbers: The most common year to divorce is actually the third year of marriage, and half of all divorces happen by the seventh. (The idea of the seven-year itch was popularized by a 1955 Marilyn Monroe movie.) As my husband and I move toward the end of our seven years together, we can officially say we’ve survived “the itch.” Now, we’re ready to plan a big tenth-anniversary vacation. Next, find out the surprising secrets of the most happily married couples.

The post My Parents Got Divorced After 7 Years—Here’s What I’m Doing Differently appeared first on Reader's Digest.

In the winter, the risks associated with sun exposure may be far from your mind. But did you know that ultraviolet (UV) rays – like those from the sun – can affect your skin health throughout the year?

Living in upstate New York, where wintery weather can last most of the year, Dave Janicki* didn’t often think about the risks of sun exposure, which include melanoma (skin cancer), before he was diagnosed with an advanced form of the disease. “While I did spend time outdoors in the summer playing golf, I thought I was doing enough to cover myself, and I never thought much about sun safety the rest of the year,” said Janicki.

The road to Janicki’s diagnosis started when he noticed an odd growth – which he describes as looking like a pimple – on his face. He planned to visit a dermatologist, but it was difficult to get an appointment. Since he did not feel any other symptoms, he brushed it off for a while.

After some time had passed, the growth was still there, and so another doctor recommended a biopsy. That’s when Janicki received the shocking news that changed his life forever: he had cancer.

“I didn’t know anything about melanoma at that time, but you learn very quickly,” he added.

Ultraviolet (UV) rays are a primary cause of skin cancer. Melanoma is the most dangerous form of the disease and its incidence has been increasing over the last 30 years. While melanoma can form anywhere on the body and at any age, risk increases as people age.

“More than 96,000 people will be diagnosed with melanoma in the United States this year,” said Sigrun Hallmeyer, M.D., of Advocate Medical Group and Advocate Lutheran General Hospital, Chicago, IL. “Melanoma that has spread beyond the skin or cannot be removed by surgery is known as advanced melanoma and historically was associated with a very poor prognosis.”

Janicki underwent two surgeries, but his cancer had spread, and he was diagnosed with advanced melanoma. He recalls that he wasn’t ready to give up.

“You look back, and realize you can’t change the past, but you can change the future. With the help of my family and friends, I began dealing with it – doing research and talking to several different doctors. I was relieved to hear there were treatment options.”

Dave and his physician agreed that the next step would be treatment with a combination of immunotherapies – treatments that work with the body’s own immune system to fight cancer. This combination, Opdivo^® (nivolumab) + Yervoy^® (ipilimumab), is the first and only dual immunotherapy approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for people diagnosed with melanoma that has spread or cannot be removed by surgery (advanced melanoma). Because immunotherapies may help the body’s immune system find and fight cancer cells, they might also cause the immune system to harm healthy cells. In addition, a Boxed WARNING is associated with YERVOY regarding immune-mediated side effects.

Indication
OPDIVO^® (nivolumab) is a prescription medicine and may be used alone or in combination with YERVOY^® (ipilimumab) to treat melanoma, a type of skin cancer, that has spread or cannot be removed by surgery (advanced melanoma).

It is not known if OPDIVO is safe and effective in children younger than 18 years of age.

OPDIVO (10 mg/mL) and YERVOY (5 mg/mL) are injections for intravenous use.

Serious Side Effects
OPDIVO and YERVOY are associated with a number of serious risks that may impact a patient’s ability to work, function, and participate in activities of daily living. Some of these risks include problems that can sometimes become serious or life-threatening and can lead to death. These problems may happen anytime during treatment or even after your treatment has ended. Some of these problems may happen more often when OPDIVO is used in combination with YERVOY. Serious side effects may include lung problems (pneumonitis); intestinal problems (colitis) that can lead to tears or holes in your intestine; liver problems (hepatitis); hormone gland problems (especially the thyroid, pituitary, adrenal glands, and pancreas); kidney problems, including nephritis and kidney failure; skin problems; inflammation of the brain (encephalitis); problems in other organs; and severe infusion reactions. Additional serious side effects observed during a separate study of YERVOY alone include: nerve problems that can lead to paralysis; and eye problems.

Study Design and Results
OPDIVO, used in combination with YERVOY or as a single agent, was approved by the FDA for this use based on a clinical trial of 945 patients with previously untreated, unresectable or metastatic melanoma, in which 314 patients received treatment with OPDIVO + YERVOY, 316 patients received OPDIVO alone and 315 patients received YERVOY alone.

In the primary analysis of the trial, OPDIVO + YERVOY and OPDIVO reduced the risk of the cancer spreading, growing, or getting worse by 58% and 43%, respectively, compared to YERVOY at 9 months. Half of the patients on OPDIVO + YERVOY went 11.5 months and half of the patients on OPDIVO went 6.9 months without the cancer spreading, growing, or getting worse versus 2.9 months with YERVOY.

In the primary analysis, OPDIVO + YERVOY and OPDIVO reduced the risk of dying by 45% and 37% compared to YERVOY at 28 months. In a follow-up analysis of this trial at five years, 52% of patients treated with OPDIVO + YERVOY and 44% of patients treated with OPDIVO alone were alive, compared to 26% of patients treated with YERVOY alone. Half of patients treated with YERVOY were alive at 19.9 months, while half the patients treated with OPDIVO were alive at 36.9 months and more than half of the patients treated with OPDIVO + YERVOY were alive at the time of the analysis.

In this follow-up analysis, data were also assessed across patient subtypes. In BRAF-mutant (MT) and wild-type (WT) patients, 60% of MT and 48% of WT patients in the OPDIVO + YERVOY arm were alive at five years, respectively.

• • Among BRAF MT patients, half of those treated with YERVOY were alive at 24.6 months while half the patients treated with OPDIVO were alive at 45.5 months and more than half of patients treated with OPDIVO + YERVOY were alive at the time of the analysis. In these patients, OPDIVO + YERVOY and OPDIVO reduced the risk of death versus YERVOY by 56% and 37%, respectively.
• • Among BRAF WT patients, half of those treated with YERVOY were alive at 18.5 months versus 34.4 months and 39.1 months in patients treated with OPDIVO and OPDIVO + YERVOY, respectively. In these patients, OPDIVO + YERVOY and OPDIVO reduced the risk of death versus YERVOY by 43% and 36%.

OPDIVO + YERVOY and OPDIVO have also been shown to reduce or shrink tumors in the primary analysis. Among patients treated with OPDIVO + YERVOY or OPDIVO, respectively, 50% and 40% of all tumors shrank or disappeared completely (41% of tumors shrank while 9% disappeared completely with OPDIVO + YERVOY; 31% of tumors shrank while 9% disappeared completely with OPDIVO) at 9 months compared to 14% for patients treated with YERVOY (12% of tumors shrank while 2% disappeared completely).

The efficacy of OPDIVO + YERVOY cannot be compared to OPDIVO.

OPDIVO + YERVOY will not work for everyone. Individual results may vary.

Common Side Effects
The most common side effects of OPDIVO, when used in combination with YERVOY, include: feeling tired; rash; diarrhea; nausea; fever; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; upper respiratory tract infection; itching; abdominal pain; vomiting; cough; decreased appetite; and shortness of breath. The most common side effects of OPDIVO when used alone include: feeling tired; rash; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; itchy skin; diarrhea; nausea; weakness; cough; vomiting; shortness of breath; constipation; decreased appetite; back pain; upper respiratory tract infection; fever; headache; abdominal pain. The most common side effects of YERVOY include: feeling tired; diarrhea; nausea; itching; rash; vomiting; headache; weight loss; fever; decreased appetite; and difficulty falling or staying asleep.

Please see additional safety information below.

In Janicki’s case, his tumor completely disappeared while undergoing treatment. This result is not typical of every patient.

“As a doctor, I hear stories like Dave’s and I am inspired. A melanoma diagnosis may have a different meaning today,” Dr. Hallmeyer added. “The fact that some patients are living longer is incredibly exciting.”

For Dave, who is now four years out from his initial diagnosis, maintaining an optimistic outlook is important. He visits his doctor every other week for treatment, something he believes is not “too much to ask.”

“My cancer diagnosis was eye-opening,” Janicki said. “I’m more determined than ever to live life to the fullest, stay positive and take care of myself.”

Janicki’s experience affected his loved ones, too. Outdoor activities in any season have now taken on a new meaning: quality time together and increased vigilance about the sun. “For one thing, my daughter reminds everyone to wear sunscreen all year long, even when it’s cold outside,” he said.

Janicki was recently able to walk his daughter down the aisle at her wedding. “By sharing my story, I want to inspire other people to take action and learn more about the risks for melanoma, and to remember to not ever lose hope.”

To learn more about Opdivo + Yervoy for advanced melanoma, please click here.

*Dave Janicki is a Bristol-Myers Squibb Patient Ambassador.

INDICATIONS
OPDIVO^® (nivolumab) is a prescription medicine used to treat people with a type of skin cancer called melanoma that has spread or cannot be removed by surgery (advanced melanoma).

OPDIVO^® (nivolumab) is a prescription medicine used in combination with YERVOY^® (ipilimumab) to treat people with a type of skin cancer called melanoma that has spread or cannot be removed by surgery (advanced melanoma).

It is not known if OPDIVO is safe and effective in children younger than 18 years of age.

Important Safety Information for OPDIVO^® (nivolumab) and the OPDIVO+YERVOY^® (ipilimumab) Regimen

OPDIVO is a medicine that may treat certain cancers by working with your immune system. OPDIVO can cause your immune system to attack normal organs and tissues in any area of your body and can affect the way they work. These problems can sometimes become serious or life-threatening and can lead to death. These problems may happen anytime during treatment or even after your treatment has ended. Some of these problems may happen more often when OPDIVO is used in combination with YERVOY.

YERVOY can cause serious side effects in many parts of your body which can lead to death. These problems may happen anytime during treatment with YERVOY or after you have completed treatment.

Serious side effects may include:
●   Lung problems (pneumonitis). Symptoms of pneumonitis may include: new or worsening cough; chest pain; and shortness of breath.
●   Intestinal problems (colitis) that can lead to tears or holes in your intestine. Signs and symptoms of colitis may include: diarrhea (loose stools) or more bowel movements than usual; blood in your stools or dark, tarry, sticky stools; and severe stomach area (abdomen) pain or tenderness.
●   Liver problems (hepatitis). Signs and symptoms of hepatitis may include: yellowing of your skin or the whites of your eyes; severe nausea or vomiting; pain on the right side of your stomach area (abdomen); drowsiness; dark urine (tea colored); bleeding or bruising more easily than normal; feeling less hungry than usual; and decreased energy.
●   Hormone gland problems (especially the thyroid, pituitary, adrenal glands, and pancreas). Signs and symptoms that your hormone glands are not working properly may include: headaches that will not go away or unusual headaches; extreme tiredness; weight gain or weight loss; dizziness or fainting; changes in mood or behavior, such as decreased sex drive, irritability, or forgetfulness; hair loss; feeling cold; constipation; voice gets deeper; and excessive thirst or lots of urine.
●   Kidney problems, including nephritis and kidney failure. Signs of kidney problems may include: decrease in the amount of urine; blood in your urine; swelling in your ankles; and loss of appetite.
●   Skin Problems. Signs of these problems may include: rash; itching; skin blistering; and ulcers in the mouth or other mucous membranes.
●   Inflammation of the brain (encephalitis). Signs and symptoms of encephalitis may include: headache; fever; tiredness or weakness; confusion; memory problems; sleepiness; seeing or hearing things that are not really there (hallucinations); seizures; and stiff neck.
●   Problems in other organs. Signs of these problems may include: changes in eyesight; severe or persistent muscle or joint pains; severe muscle weakness; and chest pain.

Additional serious side effects observed during a separate study of YERVOY alone include:
●   Nerve problems that can lead to paralysis. Symptoms of nerve problems may include: unusual weakness of legs, arms, or face; and numbness or tingling in hands or feet.
●   Eye problems. Symptoms may include: blurry vision, double vision, or other vision problems; and eye pain or redness.

Getting medical treatment right away may keep these problems from becoming more serious.

Your healthcare provider will check you for these problems during treatment. Your healthcare provider may treat you with corticosteroid or hormone replacement medicines. Your healthcare provider may also need to delay or completely stop treatment, if you have severe side effects.

OPDIVO can cause serious side effects, including:
●   Severe infusion reactions. Tell your doctor or nurse right away if you get these symptoms during an infusion of OPDIVO: chills or shaking; itching or rash; flushing; difficulty breathing; dizziness; fever; and feeling like passing out.

Pregnancy and Nursing:
●   Tell your healthcare provider if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. OPDIVO and YERVOY can harm your unborn baby. Females who are able to become pregnant should use an effective method of birth control during and for at least 5 months after the last dose of OPDIVO. Talk to your healthcare provider about birth control methods that you can use during this time. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you become pregnant or think you are pregnant during treatment. You or your healthcare provider should contact Bristol-Myers Squibb at 1-800-721-5072 as soon as you become aware of the pregnancy.
●   Pregnancy Safety Surveillance Study: Females who become pregnant during treatment with YERVOY are encouraged to enroll in a Pregnancy Safety Surveillance Study. The purpose of this study is to collect information about the health of you and your baby. You or your healthcare provider can enroll in the Pregnancy Safety Surveillance Study by calling 1-844-593-7869.
●   Before receiving treatment, tell your healthcare provider if you are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known if either treatment passes into your breast milk. Do not breastfeed during treatment and for 3 months after the last dose of YERVOY.

Tell your healthcare provider about:
●   Your health problems or concerns if you: have immune system problems such as autoimmune disease, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, lupus, or sarcoidosis; have had an organ transplant; have lung or breathing problems; have liver problems; or have any other medical conditions.
●   All the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements.

The most common side effects of OPDIVO when used alone include: feeling tired; rash; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; itchy skin; diarrhea; nausea; weakness; cough; vomiting; shortness of breath; constipation; decreased appetite; back pain; upper respiratory tract infection; fever; headache; and abdominal pain.

The most common side effects of OPDIVO, when used in combination with YERVOY, include: feeling tired; rash; diarrhea; nausea; fever; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; upper respiratory tract infection; itching; abdominal pain; vomiting; cough; decreased appetite; and shortness of breath. The most common side effects of YERVOY include: feeling tired; diarrhea; nausea; itching; rash; vomiting; headache; weight loss; fever; decreased appetite; and difficulty falling or staying asleep.

These are not all the possible side effects. For more information, ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please see U.S. Full Prescribing Information and Medication Guide for OPDIVO and YERVOY including Boxed WARNING regarding immune-mediated side effects for YERVOY.

© 2019 Bristol-Myers Squibb Company.

OPDIVO^® and YERVOY^® are registered trademarks of Bristol-Myers Squibb Company.

7356US1901006-01-01 12/19

The post Skin Cancer Was Not on My Radar: One Man’s Story of Perseverance With Advanced Melanoma appeared first on Reader's Digest.

I used to be the most resolute resolution-maker. Even as a child, I was always goal-oriented and loved the feeling of accomplishing things, and every January 1st, I would dutifully sit down and write out my resolutions for the upcoming year. And what resolutions they were! I always picked big goals, like: In the new year, I will lose 50 pounds! And run a marathon! And have a picture-perfect home! And study scripture every day! Oh, and be the best parent ever who never yelled at my children!

The problem? I never accomplished those resolutions. I’d start out strong, but by February or March, I’d be out of willpower and I’d slide quietly back into my old habits. Every winter, I’d feel guilty and ashamed, looking back at all of the amazing things…I didn’t do. (Sound familiar? That’s why experts recommend never making these 19 popular New Year’s resolutions.)

Then I got cancer…twice…at the same time

Two years ago, I started experiencing severe stomach pain. The doctors weren’t sure what was causing it, and they finally scheduled a surgery to go in and figure it out. But before I could have the surgery, I found a lump and was diagnosed with breast cancer. I started treatment for the breast cancer only to discover that the stomach pain was from appendix cancer. That’s right: two different cancers, with two different treatment plans, at the same time, in the same body. It was a lot to deal with, and I won’t lie—the next year was incredibly difficult.

Everything felt different

One good thing I can say about cancer is that it completely changed my perspective on my life—especially about what I consider “success” and “failure.” Before, I always felt like I was failing somewhere, but now simply being alive and with my family felt like a huge success. That was when I decided I was done with New Year’s resolutions.

What’s so special about January 1st?

I understand the appeal of having a new beginning or a fresh start, but I learned from my illnesses that you can take the opportunity to start over at any time. In fact, you can start fresh every day if you want to! January 1st is just a day, and it’s not special. (Although if you’re looking for things to do on New Year’s Day, try these 20 things to start off 2020 right.) You can make the day you decide to be a better person a special day, regardless of what the calendar says.

Big goals can mean big failures

Looking back, I think one of my biggest problems with New Year’s resolutions was wanting to “dream big” but not having the skills and capacity to do those things. I was setting myself up for failure every year and then being surprised when—gasp—I failed!

Now I take the opposite approach: I’m all about the little goals. First, little goals are easy to set. Instead of saying I’m going to run a marathon, I’ve decided I’m going to run 20 minutes three days a week. Oh, and I can go as slow as I feel like! Second, little goals are easier to accomplish. Every time I check one of my mini goals off my list, I feel a burst of pride and accomplishment. It’s a great feeling, and I don’t have to wait until the end of the year to experience it!

Building on small goals leads to success

The other great thing about making small goals instead of resolutions is that you can build small goals on top of each other, adding the achievements together. For instance, recently I decided to make sure I ate five servings of fruits and vegetables a day. After a few months, this became a solid habit, so I switched my little goal to drinking more water and less soda, adding that to the healthier eating habits I’d already established.

Small goals allow for more experimentation

Have you ever seen the rowing machines at the gym? They look like torture devices—even super-fit people will be gasping for air on them. In the past, I’d always assumed they were too hard, but a few months ago, I decided my next little goal would be to try something new at the gym. It turns out that I absolutely love the rowing machine! I can now do it for 30 minutes at a time. But if I hadn’t liked it, it would have been simple enough to try something else. It’s not like breaking a resolution; it’s just shifting your focus. (Not a fan of rowing? Try one of these workout trends.)

My one New Year’s resolution for 2019

OK, so I did make one resolution last year. Come January 1st, our insurance deductibles reset, and when you have as many doctors’ appointments, medications, and treatments as I do, deductibles are a really big deal. So I jokingly told my husband that my resolution for 2019 was to stay healthy enough to not meet our deductible for the year. And, hey, I did it! I think part of it was the healthy habits I’d been able to slowly build throughout the year.

Cancer forces you to live in the moment

The thing about almost losing your life is that it really makes you realize how fragile and precious life is—and I decided I don’t want to waste a minute of it feeling bad or guilty. Cancer gave me a sense of purpose and motivated me to find a better way to feel successful. I haven’t given up on becoming a better person. I don’t like being too comfortable! But I’ve learned that there are much better ways to improve and grow than through New Year’s resolutions.

Next, find out the 8 daily habits of naturally productive people.

The Goals Nutritionists Are Setting in 2020

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Ways to Make More Money in 2020

The post Why I Stopped Making New Year’s Resolutions appeared first on Reader's Digest.

Katie Whetsell’s job is to bring others joy. As an employee of Disney for ten years, she delights families from all over the world and can bring a smile to anyone’s face. Katie’s story of her journey to work at Disney World appears in the new Disney documentary, One Day at Disney that’s now streaming on Disney Plus. Although there are some secrets Disney employees can’t share, One Day at Disney gives an insider’s glimpse into some of the most remarkable and inspiring stories of those who work for the company.

Katie’s story

Katie always knew she wanted to be a performer. The youngest of three kids from Cleveland, she was enamored with musicals and Disney movies from an early age and would often watch them singing along with her mom, Karen. Katie recalls that as a child, her hero was Jodi Benson, who voiced Ariel in The Little Mermaid. She told her mom she wanted to sing “Part of Your World,” for the school talent show; although a beloved song to many, the song almost didn’t make it into the movie. When Katie sang it, she remembers her mom’s mouth dropped open wide as she heard her little girl sing for the first time.

Then, when Katie was nine years old, her happy childhood took a turn when her mother was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer. When the doctor informed the Whetsell family that Karen’s disease was terminal, they made a decision. Disney World had been a longtime dream vacation for Karen, who had grown up watching Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color. So in November 1997, the family packed up and headed to Disney World for a trip none of them would ever forget—especially as it was the one family trip they went on in Katie’s childhood.

The vacation of a lifetime

The Whetsells spared no expense for their once-in-a-lifetime vacation and stayed at Disney’s Polynesian Village Resort for eight nights. They spent their days in the parks, seeing the sights, greeting characters, all the while pushing Karen in her wheelchair and watching her face light up with joy. Katie’s older brother, Kevin, older sister, Kelley, and father, Ken, all shared in the merriment of experiencing the park for the first time with Karen. The trip to Disney World at the height of Karen’s battle with cancer allowed them to escape into a world of magic and laughter.

A magical moment

Katie says she’ll never forget the moment that changed her life on that trip: After a long day at the parks, the Whetsells decided to see one of Disney World’s many nightly light shows. While watching, a Disney cast member performing in the parade came up to her mom and rested her hand on Karen’s shoulder. They exchanged smiles and, to this day, Katie remembered how at peace her mom looked. The whole family was touched and moved to tears.

This was the day Katie decided she wanted to work for Disney. “I was just thinking, I have to find a way to work for this company one day,” she recalls. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to work with a company that makes people feel hope?”

Sadly, Katie’s mom Karen lost her battle with ovarian cancer on June 2, 2003. Her children Kelley, Kevin, and Katie, and her husband Ken remember her every day and often think of that Disney vacation.

A dream come true

Katie went on to pursue performing for a living. After she received her degree in musical theatre from Otterbein University in Westerville, Ohio, she moved to New York City in 2006 to start auditioning. Katie struggled for years, working as a waitress and trying to make it as an actor. Her hard work and passion finally paid off when she was hired to work on Disney Cruise Lines in 2009 and later as a performer in “Disney on Classic” in Tokyo. These are the secrets Disney Cruise Line employees won’t tell you.

Just keep swimming

Since then, Katie has had many opportunities to play with and interact with some of her favorite Disney characters, but Katie’s favorite friend is Dory in “Finding Nemo the Musical” at Disney World’s Animal Kingdom. Several times a week, Katie can be found voicing lovable, forgetful Dory. She says that Dory has taught her the value of living in the present moment and to “just keep swimming.”

One Day at Disney

Earlier this year, Katie was able to tell her story to the crew of the documentary, One Day at Disney, which depicts the day-to-day lives of Disney employees. Katie has never lost sight of the fact that she and others who work for the company bring joy to the lives of many every day. She says it’s a dream come true to help other families escape the trials of their lives, whether it’s a family’s battle with cancer or simply helping adults feel like kids again. “I understand that everything we do at the parks makes a world of difference to many families. It’s a way for us to help them forget. It’s amazing to be able to comfort others. We give people an opportunity to reconnect with their childhood. Even as adults, we all get scared. We give people the opportunity to experience wonder, magic, and connection.”

Karen’s legacy

With Katie working at the park, the family has been able to make many more magical memories at Disney, enjoying Epcot’s International Food and Wine Festival and getting the opportunity to see Katie perform. Katie says her mom always encouraged her to pursue her dreams in life and continues today. “I feel like she’s still my agent on the other side,” says Katie. “I can feel her presence often and I feel her having a part in what I do.” When asked what her mother would think of her working at Disney World, she takes a deep breath and allows the tears to flow. “I just feel like she’d be so proud. I keep thinking about how much I wanted this and now it’s my job. Being able to perform and bring joy to other families, it feels kind of perfect.” This is what the letter’s in Disney’s EPCOT stand for.

Katie’s wish for others

As a Disney performer, Katie is aware that many other families visit the parks and have similar stories to her own. She has a strong message for everyone, especially children, who may be experiencing a hard time. “Every moment is meant for you, even the painful ones,” she says. ” It’s just like in your favorite Disney movie: There is always some kind of conflict or hardship or pressure. Remember to celebrate those moments, too, because they are taking you to whatever your version of a happy ending is.”

To view Katie’s story and others, watch One Day at Disney on the Disney Plus streaming service or read about their stories in the coffee table book of the same name. You can also see Katie and a host of other magical performers at Disney World. If you’re planning a trip, you’ll want to know these insider tips for the best Walt Disney World vacation.

Insider Secrets from a Disney World Super-Fan

How to Skip the Lines at Disney

What It's Really Like to Be a Princess at Walt Disney World

The post Disney World Helped Heal Her Family—Now She Works There appeared first on Reader's Digest.

I became a magician by accident. When I was nine years old, I learned how to make a coin disappear. I’d read The Lord of the Rings and ventured into the adult section of the library to search for a book of spells—nine being that curious age at which you’re old enough to work through more than 1,200 pages of arcane fantasy literature but young enough to still hold out hope that you might find a book of real, actual magic in the library. The book I found instead taught basic sleight-of-hand technique, and I dedicated the next months to practice.

At first the magic wasn’t any good. At first it wasn’t even magic; it was just a trick—a bad trick. I spent hours each day in the bathroom running through the secret moves in front of the mirror. I dropped the coin over and over, a thousand times in a day, and after two weeks of this my mom got a carpet sample from the hardware store and placed it under the mirror to muffle the sound of the coin falling again and again.

I had heard my dad work through passages of new music on the piano, so I knew how to practice—slowly, deliberately, going for precision rather than speed. One day I tried the illusion in the mirror and the coin vanished. It did not look like a magic trick. It looked like a miracle.

One of the lessons you learn very early on as a magician is that the most amazing part of a trick has nothing to do with the secret. The secret is simple and often dull: a hidden piece of tape, a small mirror, a duplicate playing card. In this case, the secret was a series of covert maneuvers to hide the coin behind my hand in the act of opening it, a dance of the fingers that I learned so completely I didn’t even have to think. I would close my hand, then open it, and the coin would vanish not by skill but by real magic.

One day I made the coin vanish on the playground. We had been playing football and were standing by the backstop in the field behind the school. A dozen people were watching. I showed the coin to everyone. Then it disappeared.

The kids screamed. They yelled, laughed, scrambled away. Everyone went crazy. This was great. This was Bilbo Baggins from The Lord of the Rings terrifying the guests at his birthday party by putting the One Ring on his finger and vanishing.

The teacher on duty crossed the playground to investigate. Mrs. Tanner was a wiry, vengeful woman who dominated her classroom with an appetite for humiliation and an oversize plastic golf club she wielded like a weapon, slamming it down on the desks of the unruly and uncommitted.

She marched toward me and demanded to know what was going on. The coin vanished for her too.

“Do it again,” she said, and I did.

I’m sure my hands were shaking, but when I looked up, everything had changed. I will remember the look on her face—the look of wide-eyed, openmouthed wonder—forever.

Two certainties. First, this was clearly the greatest thing in the world. I kept seeing my teacher’s face—the stern, authoritarian facade melting into shock, fear, elation, and joy, all at once. The kids’ too. My classmates had been transformed for a moment from a vaguely indifferent, vaguely hostile pack of scavengers and carnivores into real people.

If you could make people feel like this, why wouldn’t you do it all the time? Why didn’t everyone do this? For anyone—but especially for a nine-year-old boy at a new school—this transformation is almost indistinguishable from real magic.

The second certainty was harder to reconcile. The more I thought about it, the stranger it became, and even now it intrigues me as much as it did that day on the playground. Here it is: All of it—the chaos, the shouting, the wide-eyed wonder—came from a coin trick.

I knew that it was just a trick and I was just a kid. But the reactions of the students and the teacher were so much greater than the sum of these modest parts that I didn’t know how to explain them. Something incredible had happened. I might have caused it, but it had not come from me. I had inadvertently tapped into something visceral and wild: the teacher’s face, the shouts of fear, astonishment—and joy. The joy was the hardest to explain. Surprise comes easy, but joy never does. I was an alchemist who had somehow—­unknowingly, unintentionally—discovered how to turn lead into gold. Even a nine-year-old knows this is impossible. You could only do that with real magic.

The gulf between wanting to become a great magician and actually doing it is enormous, however, and the career of a young magician is marked as much by humiliation and public failure as it is by the occasional success. In high school, I staged a show in the auditorium and my entire world came out to watch—600 friends, family members, girls from school, everyone I wanted to defy or impress. They all looked on in horror, fascination, and pity as I twirled about the stage, frantically trying to remember every bit of choreography from every David Copperfield special I had ever seen. The audience sat mute, aghast, enduring the spectacle and waiting for the catastrophe to end.

A few years later, I staged a Harry Houdini–style underwater escape in the river that flowed through the middle of the campus of the University of Iowa, where I went to school. I stood on a boat in the middle of the river wearing nothing but biking shorts and a thick snarl of chains, padlocks, and weights around my wrists and ankles. The sky was dead and gray, and the water was dead and gray, and a frigid breeze blew across its surface. I had delayed this stunt by two weeks because the river was frozen. Now the ice had cleared and spring had come, reluctantly, but the water was still only 52 degrees at the surface, and colder in the depths below.

Technically, I succeeded. I jumped into the water, sank to the bottom, and escaped from the locks and the chains before swimming to the surface. But it didn’t feel like a success. When Houdini did it, thousands of people turned up to watch. I had about a dozen who stopped on their way to class, and the police showed up because someone thought it was a suicide attempt.

I am living proof, though, that if you throw enough time and effort at something—maybe even anything—you can become good at it. I found inspiration in a quote attributed to Houdini: “The real secret to my success is simple: I work from seven in the morning to midnight and I like it.” This quote lived on a scrap of paper stuck to the wall by my bed for ten years. I had hit Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours of dedicated practice by the time I turned 22, and he’s right—I got pretty good.

The week after I finished school, I drove to Los Angeles to begin my career as a professional magician. I have never held another job. (Find out why we say “abracadabra” during magic tricks.)

For years I have traveled the country performing. Every crowd is different. Sometimes you have to charm them or cajole them, sometimes you have to entice or fascinate, and sometimes you have to roll up your sleeves and fight, winning the room with a careful blend of intensity and goodwill, convincing the audience that you’re either a genius or a madman and that, either way, they should probably stop and listen.

Tonight my arrival onstage at a college in Chicago was met with a mixture of applause and disdain, the audience being equal parts people who came to see a magic show and people who came to drink. One six-foot, 250-pound bruiser with a crew cut started booing even before they finished my introduction. Now I am standing on a table—his table—in the basement of the student union.

“Listen,” I say, scanning the room. “In a minute, you are going to see something impossible. Some of you are going to scream. Some of you are going to yell. This gentleman right here is going to soil himself.”

Crew Cut is looking at me like he wants to fight, but I have him pinned in his seat with the gaze of 300 people who are finally paying attention. For the moment, he can only glower.

“I’m not doing this for the money. I’m not doing this for the glory. If I were, I sure wouldn’t be here. I’m here because I’ve spent my entire life learning to do something incredible, and tonight I’m going to share it with you. When I’m done, you can clap, you can boo, you can stay, you can leave—I don’t care.”

This succeeds in shocking them. Now the entire room has turned to watch.

“I’m going to give this gentleman my wallet,” I say. “I’m choosing him because he’s the biggest guy here and I need someone to keep the wallet safe.”

I look down at Crew Cut. “What’s your name?”

He looks at me like he wishes he’d gone somewhere else this evening.

“Marcus.”

I hand him my wallet. “Marcus, I want you to put this on the table and put both hands on top of it. Don’t open it yet. But make sure that no one else opens it either. Got it?”

Marcus nods. I know that if this works, he will remember this experience for the rest of his life. He will tell his children about this moment. I’ve spent six years developing this illusion, and it has been worth the effort. If I had five minutes to justify my entire existence as a magician, this is what I would perform.

I turn to the rest of the room. “I’m going to need six random people to help. If I just asked for volunteers, you might think that I had confederates in the audience, so I’m going to take this gentleman’s hat”—and here I reach down and snatch a baseball cap from someone’s head—“and throw it out into the room. If you catch it, stand up.”

Thirty seconds later, six people are standing and the man has his hat back.

“I need each of you to think of a number between one and fifty. When I point to you, call your number out loud so everyone can hear.”

“Sixteen.”

“Thirty-two.”

“Nine.”

“Forty-three.”

“Eleven.”

I pause before the last person, a girl standing in the back of the room. When the hat flew toward her a minute ago, she jumped up to catch it.

“What’s your name?”

“Jessica.”

“Jessica, before you tell me your number, I just want to say this: When you go home tonight, you are going to be unable to sleep. You’re going to lie in bed, staring at the ceiling, driving yourself crazy wondering what would have happened if you had named a number other than the number you are about to name.”

The audience laughs. Jessica just listens.

“Before you give me your number, I want you to know in your heart of hearts that it was a free choice, that there is no way I could have gotten inside your head to make you give me the number I wanted. Right?”

She nods slowly.

“What number are you thinking of?”

“Fourteen.”

Every great illusion has a moment of calm before the build to the end, and right now the room is completely quiet. At some point the bartender had started watching and turned off the music. Everyone is still.

“I want to point out that the odds of this working by chance alone are in the trillions. What are the numbers again? Sixteen, thirty-two, nine, forty-three, eleven, and fourteen, right?”

Marcus has been sitting at the table the entire time, holding the wallet and watching the performance. I point to the wallet.

“Marcus, could you stand up for a second?”

He stands. I ask him to hold the wallet up above his head so everyone can see, and he does.

“You have been holding my ­wallet the entire time. Open it and look inside. You should find a lottery ticket. Take it out.”

Marcus opens the wallet and removes the lottery ticket.

“This isn’t a winning ticket. I’m not a millionaire. But I want you to look at the numbers. I’m going to hand you the microphone. Read them out loud.”

I am watching his face now, waiting for him to see it.

“Oh,” he says quietly. “Oh no.” He looks at me. His eyes are very wide. He looks back at the lottery ticket.

“Read the numbers, Marcus.”

Marcus raises the microphone. “Sixteen, thirty-two, nine, forty-three, eleven, and fourteen.”

The room explodes. People are on their feet, screaming and jumping and turning to one another. Someone runs for the exit, knocking over a table. Jessica has her hands on her face, her mouth open. Marcus has dropped the microphone. He is reading the ticket over and over again, shaking his head and laughing.

I want you to see his face. I want you to see the joy, the open, un­affected joy. It’s the kind of joy that reminds you for a moment that when the weight of worry, of pain, of anxiety, of the world, has gone, the face that shines without it is extraordinary. Magicians get to see people at their very best, and in this transformation you can see through the illusion what can only be described as real, actual magic.

Next, don’t miss these 12 other people with cool jobs who revealed what their work is really like.

To learn more about Nate Staniforth’s journey with magic, buy his book, Here Is Real Magic: A Magician’s Search for Wonder in the Modern World.

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In the winter, the risks associated with sun exposure may be far from your mind. But did you know that ultraviolet (UV) rays – like those from the sun – can affect your skin health throughout the year?

Living in upstate New York, where wintery weather can last most of the year, Dave Janicki* didn’t often think about the risks of sun exposure, which include melanoma (skin cancer), before he was diagnosed with an advanced form of the disease. “While I did spend time outdoors in the summer playing golf, I thought I was doing enough to cover myself, and I never thought much about sun safety the rest of the year,” said Janicki.

The road to Janicki’s diagnosis started when he noticed an odd growth – which he describes as looking like a pimple – on his face. He planned to visit a dermatologist, but it was difficult to get an appointment. Since he did not feel any other symptoms, he brushed it off for a while.

After some time had passed, the growth was still there, and so another doctor recommended a biopsy. That’s when Janicki received the shocking news that changed his life forever: he had cancer.

“I didn’t know anything about melanoma at that time, but you learn very quickly,” he added.

Ultraviolet (UV) rays are a primary cause of skin cancer. Melanoma is the most dangerous form of the disease and its incidence has been increasing over the last 30 years. While melanoma can form anywhere on the body and at any age, risk increases as people age.

“More than 96,000 people will be diagnosed with melanoma in the United States this year,” said Sigrun Hallmeyer, M.D., of Advocate Medical Group and Advocate Lutheran General Hospital, Chicago, IL. “Melanoma that has spread beyond the skin or cannot be removed by surgery is known as advanced melanoma and historically was associated with a very poor prognosis.”

Janicki underwent two surgeries, but his cancer had spread, and he was diagnosed with advanced melanoma. He recalls that he wasn’t ready to give up.

“You look back, and realize you can’t change the past, but you can change the future. With the help of my family and friends, I began dealing with it – doing research and talking to several different doctors. I was relieved to hear there were treatment options.”

Dave and his physician agreed that the next step would be treatment with a combination of immunotherapies – treatments that work with the body’s own immune system to fight cancer. This combination, Opdivo^® (nivolumab) + Yervoy^® (ipilimumab), is the first and only dual immunotherapy approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration for people diagnosed with melanoma that has spread or cannot be removed by surgery (advanced melanoma). Because immunotherapies may help the body’s immune system find and fight cancer cells, they might also cause the immune system to harm healthy cells. In addition, a Boxed WARNING is associated with YERVOY regarding immune-mediated side effects.

Indication
OPDIVO^® (nivolumab) is a prescription medicine and may be used alone or in combination with YERVOY^® (ipilimumab) to treat melanoma, a type of skin cancer, that has spread or cannot be removed by surgery (advanced melanoma).

It is not known if OPDIVO is safe and effective in children younger than 18 years of age.

OPDIVO (10 mg/mL) and YERVOY (5 mg/mL) are injections for intravenous use.

Serious Side Effects
OPDIVO and YERVOY are associated with a number of serious risks that may impact a patient’s ability to work, function, and participate in activities of daily living. Some of these risks include problems that can sometimes become serious or life-threatening and can lead to death. These problems may happen anytime during treatment or even after your treatment has ended. Some of these problems may happen more often when OPDIVO is used in combination with YERVOY. Serious side effects may include lung problems (pneumonitis); intestinal problems (colitis) that can lead to tears or holes in your intestine; liver problems (hepatitis); hormone gland problems (especially the thyroid, pituitary, adrenal glands, and pancreas); kidney problems, including nephritis and kidney failure; skin problems; inflammation of the brain (encephalitis); problems in other organs; and severe infusion reactions. Additional serious side effects observed during a separate study of YERVOY alone include: nerve problems that can lead to paralysis; and eye problems.

Study Design and Results
OPDIVO, used in combination with YERVOY or as a single agent, was approved by the FDA for this use based on a clinical trial of 945 patients with previously untreated, unresectable or metastatic melanoma, in which 314 patients received treatment with OPDIVO + YERVOY, 316 patients received OPDIVO alone and 315 patients received YERVOY alone.

In the primary analysis of the trial, OPDIVO + YERVOY and OPDIVO reduced the risk of the cancer spreading, growing, or getting worse by 58% and 43%, respectively, compared to YERVOY at 9 months. Half of the patients on OPDIVO + YERVOY went 11.5 months and half of the patients on OPDIVO went 6.9 months without the cancer spreading, growing, or getting worse versus 2.9 months with YERVOY.

In the primary analysis, OPDIVO + YERVOY and OPDIVO reduced the risk of dying by 45% and 37% compared to YERVOY at 28 months. In a follow-up analysis of this trial at five years, 52% of patients treated with OPDIVO + YERVOY and 44% of patients treated with OPDIVO alone were alive, compared to 26% of patients treated with YERVOY alone. Half of patients treated with YERVOY were alive at 19.9 months, while half the patients treated with OPDIVO were alive at 36.9 months and more than half of the patients treated with OPDIVO + YERVOY were alive at the time of the analysis.

In this follow-up analysis, data were also assessed across patient subtypes. In BRAF-mutant (MT) and wild-type (WT) patients, 60% of MT and 48% of WT patients in the OPDIVO + YERVOY arm were alive at five years, respectively.

• • Among BRAF MT patients, half of those treated with YERVOY were alive at 24.6 months while half the patients treated with OPDIVO were alive at 45.5 months and more than half of patients treated with OPDIVO + YERVOY were alive at the time of the analysis. In these patients, OPDIVO + YERVOY and OPDIVO reduced the risk of death versus YERVOY by 56% and 37%, respectively.
• • Among BRAF WT patients, half of those treated with YERVOY were alive at 18.5 months versus 34.4 months and 39.1 months in patients treated with OPDIVO and OPDIVO + YERVOY, respectively. In these patients, OPDIVO + YERVOY and OPDIVO reduced the risk of death versus YERVOY by 43% and 36%.

OPDIVO + YERVOY and OPDIVO have also been shown to reduce or shrink tumors in the primary analysis. Among patients treated with OPDIVO + YERVOY or OPDIVO, respectively, 50% and 40% of all tumors shrank or disappeared completely (41% of tumors shrank while 9% disappeared completely with OPDIVO + YERVOY; 31% of tumors shrank while 9% disappeared completely with OPDIVO) at 9 months compared to 14% for patients treated with YERVOY (12% of tumors shrank while 2% disappeared completely).

The efficacy of OPDIVO + YERVOY cannot be compared to OPDIVO.

OPDIVO + YERVOY will not work for everyone. Individual results may vary.

Common Side Effects
The most common side effects of OPDIVO, when used in combination with YERVOY, include: feeling tired; rash; diarrhea; nausea; fever; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; upper respiratory tract infection; itching; abdominal pain; vomiting; cough; decreased appetite; and shortness of breath. The most common side effects of OPDIVO when used alone include: feeling tired; rash; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; itchy skin; diarrhea; nausea; weakness; cough; vomiting; shortness of breath; constipation; decreased appetite; back pain; upper respiratory tract infection; fever; headache; abdominal pain. The most common side effects of YERVOY include: feeling tired; diarrhea; nausea; itching; rash; vomiting; headache; weight loss; fever; decreased appetite; and difficulty falling or staying asleep.

Please see additional safety information below.

In Janicki’s case, his tumor completely disappeared while undergoing treatment. This result is not typical of every patient.

“As a doctor, I hear stories like Dave’s and I am inspired. A melanoma diagnosis may have a different meaning today,” Dr. Hallmeyer added. “The fact that some patients are living longer is incredibly exciting.”

For Dave, who is now four years out from his initial diagnosis, maintaining an optimistic outlook is important. He visits his doctor every other week for treatment, something he believes is not “too much to ask.”

“My cancer diagnosis was eye-opening,” Janicki said. “I’m more determined than ever to live life to the fullest, stay positive and take care of myself.”

Janicki’s experience affected his loved ones, too. Outdoor activities in any season have now taken on a new meaning: quality time together and increased vigilance about the sun. “For one thing, my daughter reminds everyone to wear sunscreen all year long, even when it’s cold outside,” he said.

Janicki was recently able to walk his daughter down the aisle at her wedding. “By sharing my story, I want to inspire other people to take action and learn more about the risks for melanoma, and to remember to not ever lose hope.”

To learn more about Opdivo + Yervoy for advanced melanoma, please click here.

*Dave Janicki is a Bristol-Myers Squibb Patient Ambassador.

INDICATIONS
OPDIVO^® (nivolumab) is a prescription medicine used to treat people with a type of skin cancer called melanoma that has spread or cannot be removed by surgery (advanced melanoma).

OPDIVO^® (nivolumab) is a prescription medicine used in combination with YERVOY^® (ipilimumab) to treat people with a type of skin cancer called melanoma that has spread or cannot be removed by surgery (advanced melanoma).

It is not known if OPDIVO is safe and effective in children younger than 18 years of age.

Important Safety Information for OPDIVO^® (nivolumab) and the OPDIVO+YERVOY^® (ipilimumab) Regimen

OPDIVO is a medicine that may treat certain cancers by working with your immune system. OPDIVO can cause your immune system to attack normal organs and tissues in any area of your body and can affect the way they work. These problems can sometimes become serious or life-threatening and can lead to death. These problems may happen anytime during treatment or even after your treatment has ended. Some of these problems may happen more often when OPDIVO is used in combination with YERVOY.

YERVOY can cause serious side effects in many parts of your body which can lead to death. These problems may happen anytime during treatment with YERVOY or after you have completed treatment.

Serious side effects may include:
●   Lung problems (pneumonitis). Symptoms of pneumonitis may include: new or worsening cough; chest pain; and shortness of breath.
●   Intestinal problems (colitis) that can lead to tears or holes in your intestine. Signs and symptoms of colitis may include: diarrhea (loose stools) or more bowel movements than usual; blood in your stools or dark, tarry, sticky stools; and severe stomach area (abdomen) pain or tenderness.
●   Liver problems (hepatitis). Signs and symptoms of hepatitis may include: yellowing of your skin or the whites of your eyes; severe nausea or vomiting; pain on the right side of your stomach area (abdomen); drowsiness; dark urine (tea colored); bleeding or bruising more easily than normal; feeling less hungry than usual; and decreased energy.
●   Hormone gland problems (especially the thyroid, pituitary, adrenal glands, and pancreas). Signs and symptoms that your hormone glands are not working properly may include: headaches that will not go away or unusual headaches; extreme tiredness; weight gain or weight loss; dizziness or fainting; changes in mood or behavior, such as decreased sex drive, irritability, or forgetfulness; hair loss; feeling cold; constipation; voice gets deeper; and excessive thirst or lots of urine.
●   Kidney problems, including nephritis and kidney failure. Signs of kidney problems may include: decrease in the amount of urine; blood in your urine; swelling in your ankles; and loss of appetite.
●   Skin Problems. Signs of these problems may include: rash; itching; skin blistering; and ulcers in the mouth or other mucous membranes.
●   Inflammation of the brain (encephalitis). Signs and symptoms of encephalitis may include: headache; fever; tiredness or weakness; confusion; memory problems; sleepiness; seeing or hearing things that are not really there (hallucinations); seizures; and stiff neck.
●   Problems in other organs. Signs of these problems may include: changes in eyesight; severe or persistent muscle or joint pains; severe muscle weakness; and chest pain.

Additional serious side effects observed during a separate study of YERVOY alone include:
●   Nerve problems that can lead to paralysis. Symptoms of nerve problems may include: unusual weakness of legs, arms, or face; and numbness or tingling in hands or feet.
●   Eye problems. Symptoms may include: blurry vision, double vision, or other vision problems; and eye pain or redness.

Getting medical treatment right away may keep these problems from becoming more serious.

Your healthcare provider will check you for these problems during treatment. Your healthcare provider may treat you with corticosteroid or hormone replacement medicines. Your healthcare provider may also need to delay or completely stop treatment, if you have severe side effects.

OPDIVO can cause serious side effects, including:
●   Severe infusion reactions. Tell your doctor or nurse right away if you get these symptoms during an infusion of OPDIVO: chills or shaking; itching or rash; flushing; difficulty breathing; dizziness; fever; and feeling like passing out.

Pregnancy and Nursing:
●   Tell your healthcare provider if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant. OPDIVO and YERVOY can harm your unborn baby. Females who are able to become pregnant should use an effective method of birth control during and for at least 5 months after the last dose of OPDIVO. Talk to your healthcare provider about birth control methods that you can use during this time. Tell your healthcare provider right away if you become pregnant or think you are pregnant during treatment. You or your healthcare provider should contact Bristol-Myers Squibb at 1-800-721-5072 as soon as you become aware of the pregnancy.
●   Pregnancy Safety Surveillance Study: Females who become pregnant during treatment with YERVOY are encouraged to enroll in a Pregnancy Safety Surveillance Study. The purpose of this study is to collect information about the health of you and your baby. You or your healthcare provider can enroll in the Pregnancy Safety Surveillance Study by calling 1-844-593-7869.
●   Before receiving treatment, tell your healthcare provider if you are breastfeeding or plan to breastfeed. It is not known if either treatment passes into your breast milk. Do not breastfeed during treatment and for 3 months after the last dose of YERVOY.

Tell your healthcare provider about:
●   Your health problems or concerns if you: have immune system problems such as autoimmune disease, Crohn’s disease, ulcerative colitis, lupus, or sarcoidosis; have had an organ transplant; have lung or breathing problems; have liver problems; or have any other medical conditions.
●   All the medicines you take, including prescription and over-the-counter medicines, vitamins, and herbal supplements.

The most common side effects of OPDIVO when used alone include: feeling tired; rash; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; itchy skin; diarrhea; nausea; weakness; cough; vomiting; shortness of breath; constipation; decreased appetite; back pain; upper respiratory tract infection; fever; headache; and abdominal pain.

The most common side effects of OPDIVO, when used in combination with YERVOY, include: feeling tired; rash; diarrhea; nausea; fever; pain in muscles, bones, and joints; upper respiratory tract infection; itching; abdominal pain; vomiting; cough; decreased appetite; and shortness of breath. The most common side effects of YERVOY include: feeling tired; diarrhea; nausea; itching; rash; vomiting; headache; weight loss; fever; decreased appetite; and difficulty falling or staying asleep.

These are not all the possible side effects. For more information, ask your healthcare provider or pharmacist. Call your doctor for medical advice about side effects. You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.

Please see U.S. Full Prescribing Information and Medication Guide for OPDIVO and YERVOY including Boxed WARNING regarding immune-mediated side effects for YERVOY.

© 2019 Bristol-Myers Squibb Company.

OPDIVO^® and YERVOY^® are registered trademarks of Bristol-Myers Squibb Company.

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When we first rented a home on Seven Mile Island, in Avalon and Stone Harbor in Southern New Jersey, it never occurred to me that my family would continue to go there every summer for more than two decades. But that’s exactly what happened, and now I’ve been taking the same beach vacation for more than half of my life and for most of my children’s lives. The thing is, something fabulous happens when you get into a vacation routine: It becomes part of family culture. Our beach vacation is something we plan for, and look forward to, all year. And as kids get bigger and life gets more demanding, there’s a permanent place for the summer getaway on all of our calendars, which is basically vacation gold. Here’s why you might want to start taking the same vacation every year, too.

Need some inspiration? Check out the 50 best travel destinations in each state.

Staying in our comfort zone

Exotic destinations are great for keeping you on your toes and learning new things, and we do enjoy exploring new parts of the world. But for a truly comfortable getaway, knowing what to expect when traveling to a favorite spot is priceless. I travel for work throughout the year, and my family is lucky to take vacations during spring break and other holidays as well, but there’s nothing more relaxing than our repeat vacation. I don’t feel the need to climb a mountain or see a world wonder during this trip, or spend an entire day in a museum because it’s my only chance to see amazing works of art. All that’s required of me is to do bring a book and a beach chair, with no FOMO. Talk about a priceless vacation perk! These are some of the most family-friendly beaches in the country—and they’re all at the Jersey Shore.

Anticipation of old favorites

One thing that keeps us coming back to the same location every summer is our family tradition of revisiting our favorite spots and activities at the Shore: diving under the waves, spinning on boardwalk rides, sharing fresh seafood dinners, and indulging in special vacation foods. On the Ocean City Boardwalk, we seek out the warm caramel popcorn at Johnson’s, the sauce-heavy pies at Manco & Manco’s, and the creamy swirls of soft serve dipped in chocolate at Kohr’s Custard. Then we sail above the crowds on the pirate-ship ride! We’ll talk all winter about the fresh seafood at Sylvester’s Restaurant in Avalon, and when we finally pull up a bench under the circus-style tent and order up piles of butter-drenched crab and plates of straight-from-the-sea flounder, it tastes even better from all the anticipation.

Fun for all ages

Another highlight of our repeat vacation is that it’s adjusted as our family has grown—and grown older. My oldest son was in college and my daughter was in grade school when we started going to the Jersey Shore; now they’re both married, and their spouses come along, too. My youngest son wasn’t born yet the first time we rented a beach house; he was a baby on the sand, and now he’s a teen learning to surf.

As the family ages and expands, we add to our roster of family activities that we only get to do together this one week a year. There are games ranging from basketball tournaments (the winner keeps the homemade trophy—a gold, spray-painted basketball in a sand pail—for bragging rights year-round) to corn-hole competitions, ultra-competitive card games, and slow puzzles, all of which we talk up, and plan for, all year. Try these fun family beach games you’ll want to play all summer.

Appreciation of the destination

One added bonus of repeatedly visiting the same location is being able to explore it in-depth in a way we could never do with only a one-time visit. On our seven-mile beach island, that means we’ve had time to spend exploring the marshes and bird-wildlife refuges that are unique to the area but don’t necessarily make the list of top beach activities for first-timers. We’ve explored up and down the coast and found our favorite spots to kayak, bike, fish, and eat, each year adding a new find to our favorites list. Of course, that means having to balance everything we want to do with an equal desire to hang out and just enjoy the beach—a true (and perfect) repeat-vacation conundrum.

Same time next year!

The end of vacation is always a little sad, but another highlight of having the same vacation every year is knowing that we’ll be able to do it all again, the exact same way, next year! Planning an annual getaway? Do these 13 things before you leave for vacation to keep your home safe.

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What were they thinking?

Without order, there would be chaos. That’s especially true when it comes to kids in school settings. But sometimes, schools take that maxim too far—way too far. While administrators usually craft school policies with the best of intentions, some of those policies end up being pretty head-scratching and can have unintended and even harmful consequences. From policing toilet paper to outlawing high fives, these over-the-top school rules evoked outrage around the world—and for good reason. How else is school different from when you a kid? For starters, here are 9 school subjects you took that children today won’t.

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These mysteries are breaking the rules

As a general rule, the longer a mystery goes unsolved, the less likely it’ll ever be cracked. However, all of these mysteries hold the promise of resolution in the near future date back years, if not centuries—some even date back to the beginning of time. Don’t miss the strangest unsolved mystery from every state.

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You probably know the name Christopher Robin from one of the most beloved children’s books in history. But Christopher Robin Milne was a real person—the only child of Winnie the Pooh author A.A. Milne. It was his playtime in the woods with his parents and his favorite stuffed animal that inspired the series. However, the little boy would soon be thrust into the spotlight before he was even old enough for kindergarten, much less equipped to handle worldwide fame and recognition. Here’s what Christopher Robin really thought of Winnie the Pooh and his own reluctant legacy as the hero of these stories.

Christopher Robin’s childhood started out idyllic

Christopher Robin was born on August 21, 1920. His father, Alan Alexander Milne, kept a home in London for the family, but they would often spend weekends at a country home called Cotchford Farm in East Sussex. That’s the location that inspired many of the locales in the books, including the Hundred Acre Wood. As for Winnie the Pooh, he was inspired by a real-life character, too. Well, sort of. A.A. Milne bought Christopher Robin a teddy bear named Edward Bear from Harrods of London for his first birthday, according to the New York Public Library. Christopher Robin renamed the bear Winnie after a real bear he saw at the London Zoo. Here’s more about the real-life toys that inspired the other Winnie the Pooh characters.

The creation of the Winnie the Pooh stories was a family affair. In fact, A.A. Milne often credited his wife, Daphne, as a collaborator on the books because he was inspired by watching how she played with Christopher Robin, helping him bring the stuffed animals to life with different voices and personalities to suit each one.

A little boy becomes a household name

The Winnie the Pooh sensation started with a short story that A.A. Milne wrote for the London Evening News. It was called “The Wrong Sort of Bees,” and it included Christopher Robin and his bear, Winnie the Pooh. But, according to the Smithsonian, the boy and his bear really rose to fame with the publication of A.A. Milne’s 1926 book that was illustrated by E.H. Shepard.

Fan mail poured in when people learned that there was a “real” Christopher Robin. The author would give his son those fan letters, introducing the little boy to his new, widespread fame. Christopher Robin was expected to respond to each fan letter with his nanny’s help. He also appeared in a pageant based on the Pooh characters and would participate in audio recordings of the books when he was only 7, which his cousin would later refer to as exploitation, according to the BBC.

Christopher Robin sours on his newfound fame

Christopher Robin liked the Winnie the Pooh books at first, and he even enjoyed the fame. However, after a few years, those books that were so beloved to readers around the world became a burden to him. Christopher Robin went away to boarding school around the age of 9, at the height of Winnie the Pooh’s popularity, and he was bullied there. The other kids would play that record of Christopher Robin reading the poems about Winnie the Pooh and tease him mercilessly.

Plus, the real-life Christopher Robin was very different from the fictional character who shared his name, but people made the false assumption that he was truly like the character in the books. As a result, Christopher Robin felt very misunderstood. Here are more fictional characters you never knew were based on real people.

A.A. Milne tries to do damage control

By 1929, A.A. Milne told reporters that he was “amazed and disgusted” by Christopher Robin’s fame. Although he didn’t go into detail about the problems that his son faced, the author felt that his son had already experienced more fame than he had intended or wanted for him. Realizing that his young son might be damaged by this, A.A. Milne vowed never to write another children’s book after the fourth Pooh book was published.

Still, as with most family situations, things were complicated. The Guardian reports that A.A. Milne was a bit in denial about the grave impact the fame had on his son, telling reporters on another occasion that Christopher Robin referred to himself as “Billy Moon” at home and claiming that the fame didn’t impact them personally. That would prove to be untrue.

Harsh words from an angry son

Having first soured on the Winnie the Pooh books when he was bullied at boarding school, Christopher Robin really came to hate his association with them as a young man. He served in World War II, then had a hard time finding a job and adjusting to adulthood. He was angry and disillusioned, and he felt that the early fame had held him back. That fame still haunted him, and he didn’t know what his place in the world was.

Of his famous father, he stated that it was almost like he’d achieved success by “climbing upon my infant shoulders,” according to the Independent. He also said it felt like his name had been taken and that he was left with the “empty fame” of being the son of A.A. Milne. Ouch!

And Christopher Robin wasn’t the only one irked by the bear we all know and love. As reported by the BBC, E.H. Shepard, the original illustrator of the books, also regretted his involvement with the beloved character. His issue? The Winnie the Pooh illustrations greatly overshadowed any other art he created and work he had done. Don’t miss these other children’s books everyone should read in their lifetime.

Estrangement from his parents

Because of all this, Christopher Robin didn’t speak often to his parents as an adult, and he eventually became estranged from his mother. Neither parent appreciated the bitter things that Christopher Robin said publicly about his childhood, and they were distraught when he married his first cousin Lesley. He sadly never reconciled with either parent, and he didn’t see his mother in the last 15 years of her life.

Did Christopher Robin ever come to terms with his legacy?

Christopher Robin Milne passed away on April 20, 1996. He was 75 years old and died in his sleep after a long battle with Myasthenia gravis. For many years, including the last decades of his life, Christopher Robin and his wife owned and managed a bookshop, and they were devoted to taking care of their adult daughter, Clare, who had cerebral palsy. In case you were wondering, he did, indeed, sell his father’s books at the bookshop.

He also wrote three autobiographical books of his own, including the memoir The Enchanted Places (in which he described his relationship with Winnie the Pooh as a “love-hate relationship), and this helped him come to terms with his early fame and his complex relationship with his parents. Still, he was never particularly sentimental about his father’s books, and he sold his share of the proceeds to establish a trust fund for the care of his daughter.

Christopher Robin finds a loving home for Pooh

Although Christopher Robin may have resented becoming a famous little boy, he eventually realized that the stories he inspired meant so much to so many people. Because of this, he donated five of his most well-known toys to the New York Public Library in 1987 so that fans could enjoy them. The plush toys of Pooh, Kanga, Tigger, Piglet, and Eeyore are a part of the library’s permanent collection and are kept in a climate-controlled case in the children’s area, in front of a backdrop of the Hundred Acre Wood.

A movie about the real Christopher Robin

In 2017, the movie Goodbye, Christopher Robin shocked many filmgoers, as it explored the complex relationship between Christopher Robin and his father. That was the first time many people realized that Christopher Robin resented the success of the stories based on his childhood. However, like nearly all movies based on true stories, several facts were changed to fit the narrative of the film. Keep in mind that this 2017 Fox Searchlight film shouldn’t be confused with the 2018 Disney movie Christopher Robin, starring Ewan McGregor, which whimsically explores what happened when the fictional Christopher Robin grew up. Looking for more kid-friendly flicks? Try these 25 best cartoon movies for family movie night.

The legend lives on

Winnie the Pooh continues to capture the public’s imagination, and according to the Los Angeles Times, Pooh is a $1-billion-a-year industry! This fictional bear even has a star on Hollywood’s Walk of Fame. For another behind-the-scenes story of a Disney classic, learn what author P.L. Travers really thought of Disney’s Mary Poppins film.

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Camille was convinced she wouldn’t see the next Christmas.

It was May when the 53-year-old mother of two teens got the diagnosis: Stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer. Her only thoughts were for her family.

“How am I going to get this house and this family all put together?” she remembers thinking. “When you first hear the words lung cancer, you think that’s the end of the world.”

Camille is not alone. One in 17 women in the US will develop lung cancer in their lifetime. For a man, the risk is about one in 15. Lung cancer remains the number one cause of cancer-related death, killing more Americans each year than breast, prostate and colon cancers combined.

But science is progressing rapidly, and many people with Stage 4 lung cancer, like Camille, are benefiting from cancer diagnostic testing, which helps determine a disease or condition. Biomarker testing, sometimes referred to as molecular testing or mutation testing, can mean patients receive a full diagnosis and can play a critical role in determining the treatment that is right for them. For patients diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer, testing for cancer biomarkers is recommended by national cancer guideline organizations as a “standard-of-care practice,” meaning all qualified patients should receive it if diagnosed. And it may have given Camille a new outlook about what life with Stage 4 lung cancer could mean.

Waiting for Results and Taking Action: Camille’s Treatment Journey

Camille’s cancer was first discovered after she went to the doctor for severe back pain. But after a normal X-ray, a CT scan showed tumors on her back. To determine how best to treat her cancer, her physician needed to find where the cancer started and additional tests showed the cancer had started in her lungs. She then underwent staging for her cancer, where exams and tests were performed to learn how big and where the cancer has grown. The results showed that Camille had Stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer, which means the cancer had metastasized, or spread outside of the lungs to other parts of the body. In metastasis, cancer cells break away from the original tumor, travel through the blood or lymph system, and form a new tumor in other organs or tissues in the body. In Camille’s case, it had spread to both her back and brain.

“You go into denial,” said Camille. “I didn’t think my chances were very good.”

However, after denial came action. Camille began to learn more about her disease and consulted multiple doctors. One recommended she undergo more testing to determine if a specific “biomarker” was the underlying cause of her disease. A biomarker is a biological molecule found in blood, other body fluids, or tissues that is a sign of a normal or abnormal process, or of a condition or disease. The test results took about a month to come back.

“You get very impatient, because you want something done to get rid of your cancer as soon as possible,” said Camille. “But I’m very happy that I waited.”

Good News, Right on Time: How Testing Changed Her Course of Care

The biomarker tests showed that Camille’s tumor cells tested positive for an epidermal growth factor receptor (EGFR) mutation, which meant she was a candidate for an oral therapy that targets the mutation and that may help stop the cancer from growing and spreading. And, just in time, she received this news in her doctor’s office right before she was about to begin chemotherapy.

“We were hugging and jumping up and down after my doctor said, ‘I have good news: the test showed that you have an EGFR mutation.’ My mother and my husband looked at us and asked, ‘Why would a cancerous mutation be good?’ My doctor answered, ‘Because there is targeted therapy available that can help treat Camille’s specific type of lung cancer.’”

What Every Patient with Stage 4 Lung Cancer Should Ask Their Doctor

Initially, it was difficult for Camille to be proactive and take a larger role in her care decisions, she said, but there was a moment when she realized she needed to step up more.

“At one point I had a little breakdown in my doctor’s office, because I had my husband there. I had my mother there. Everybody’s talking about me and finally I said, ‘I’ve got to do this on my own terms,’” said Camille. “It’s your body. It’s your life. You have to take some control of it. And the more control you feel like you have, the more comforting it is.”

Camille’s experience is not necessarily the same as that of others with lung cancer. Because lung cancer is a diverse disease with a range of subtypes, every patient’s treatment path is different. That’s why it’s important for those who are newly diagnosed to learn as much as they can about their cancer, including through biomarker testing if Stage 4, so they can receive a full diagnosis from their doctor.

Biomarker or mutation testing in Stage 4 lung cancer is critical to opening the door to therapies that work best for each person’s particular type of lung cancer. Experts call it “precision medicine” – delivering customized medical care tailored to the individual patient – and it’s helping doctors fight some types of cancer better today than in the past. It can help to ensure that the right medicine reaches the right patient at the right time. These tests are becoming a standard part of practice and are changing the treatment approach to Stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer.

Living in Gratitude and Giving Back

Camille’s cancer is currently stable. She is living her life with EGFR-mutation positive Stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer. With proper treatment, medical care, and support, she is now able to keep her daily routine while treating her disease. She gets a CT scan every three months to monitor for any changes.

“I get anxious, but not as bad as I could because I think back to six months ago and now I’m swimming a quarter of a mile twice a week, I can help with my kids’ school and volunteer,” she said. “There are some things that I know I should take slowly, but otherwise, it’s mostly back to normal for us. I couldn’t even stand in church when I was first diagnosed. You become very grateful.”

As part of that gratitude, volunteering has become even more important to Camille since her diagnosis.

“I’ve always been the caretaker and the volunteer, but people have helped me, particularly in the last couple of months, so I really want to give that back,” she said. “I want to help people who are in the same situation as I am. I would tell them there’s a lot of options out there and that it’s not hopeless.”

Patients with Stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer should talk to their healthcare team about whether they should be tested and about all available therapy and care options, regardless of where they are in their treatment journey. If test results come back positive for EGFR or for another mutation, doctors may recommend a different treatment plan. For Camille and her family, a different treatment plan changed everything.

©2019 AstraZeneca. All rights reserved.

US-31914 Last Updated 10/19

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If you don’t want anyone to talk to you on a plane, hold a Bible in your lap. That’s a trick Kathrine Lee uses to get some quiet time between seminars and speaking engagements in her career as a life coach and business strategist. But it didn’t work the day a handsome man sat next to her and started chatting. He was ­charming, and before long, Kathrine, a married mother of three, was wondering which of her single girlfriends she’d set him up with. Then she asked him, “So what do you do?”

He owned a pornography company, he told her. He thought it would be funny to get the church lady to like him, then tell her what he did for a living and watch her squirm. Instead, Kathrine started asking him questions. One was “How do you get the girls?”

“That’s easy,” he replied. “We send scouts to malls and other places where kids hang out and look for girls with daddy issues.”

Kathrine says that was the moment she knew why she’d been seated next to this man. God had put him there to let her know there were girls out there who needed help. “I didn’t have a father in my life. I should have been one of those statistics,” she says.

For years, she’d had a vision of creating a foundation that would do some good in the world. She even had a name: Pure Hope, which is what her name—Kathrine Nadine—means in different languages. She’d just been waiting for a sign about who needed her help. Now she had it.

When she got home, she started looking into the pornography business. She learned that many of the workers are there because someone tricked or coerced them. It’s called sex trafficking, and its henchmen snare hundreds of thousands of victims ­every year in the United States alone. The average mark is only 12 years old. According to the Department of Justice, human trafficking is the fastest-growing crime in the world.

“My heart got broken wide open,” says Kathrine.

Her husband, Michael Lee, shared her determination to help. In time, their dream began to take shape: a home for women who got out of “the life.” Through friends, they found just the place in Mount Vernon, Texas. With the proceeds from the sale of their house in California and donations (many from business clients and those who come to Kathrine’s motivational seminars), they opened Hope Home.

“It’s a dark issue,” says Kathrine. “But when you bring light into the darkness, it’s no longer dark.”

At Hope Home, each woman has a room of her own. Residents come together to cook and eat meals at a table adorned with candles and cloth napkins. It’s the ordinary-seeming moments that are the ones most worth celebrating, says Kathrine, who calls it “doing the pots and pans of life.”

“My favorite memory here is the first time I set the table for a family-style dinner, and a woman in her 30s sat down and said she had not eaten with a family since she was 14 years old,” says Susan Kovaka, the program director. She lives in the home with the women, as does a licensed counselor and a therapy dog named Hope.

The women come from around the country. Some are referrals; some have just left rehab. They learn how to shop on a budget and plan meals and other life skills no one ever taught them. They learn to care for horses and other animals. Most attend classes to get their GEDs, having missed school for most of their lives, then go to college or some kind of job training. Two of the interns, as residents are called, recently graduated from cosmetology school.

The women can live in Hope Home as long as they need to; most stay ­18 months to two years, though the connection lasts a lifetime. “We tell them, ‘We want to be invited to your wedding and the birth of your first kid, and we want to see you at Christmas,’” says Kovaka.

“Anna,” one of Hope Home’s current interns, was trafficked at age 12. Now 27, she’s about to start college and wants to be a computer programmer. “For the first time in my life, I can see that I will have a normal life. I will be able to get a good job, support myself, and have a great future,” she says.

Even though she made all this happen, Kathrine deflects any attention that comes her way and points it at the women, saying, “I really, truly, with all my heart believe they’re the heroes.”

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